Let’s be honest: if anyone truly suffers in this whole “art of wonder” thing, it’s us — the magicians.
Magic isn’t for kids (they heckle), it’s not for adults (they don’t care), and it’s definitely not for magicians (we know too much and cry about it privately).
So buckle up, because I’m about to expose the real secrets of magic — not how the tricks work, but why magicians are one emotional card force away from a nervous breakdown.
Exhibit A: The Curse of Knowing
Remember when you first saw a magic trick as a kid?
That feeling of pure amazement, that “WHAT JUST HAPPENED?” rush of disbelief?
Yeah, that’s gone now. Forever.
Once you learn how magic works, you can never unsee it.
Every time another magician performs, you’re not thinking, “Wow, that’s beautiful.”
You’re thinking, “He flashed his double lift. Amateur.”
We are incapable of joy. We are human lie detectors powered by caffeine and bitterness.
Exhibit B: The Practice Problem
You think magicians spend their nights at parties, surrounded by awe-struck crowds and beautiful people?
No.
We’re standing alone in our kitchens, at 2 a.m., practicing a coin vanish in front of a microwave reflection.
For hours.
Days.
Years.
We’ve spent so much time shuffling cards that our wrists have muscle memory trauma. Meanwhile, our friends are out there living, laughing, loving… and we’re arguing online about which brand of sponge ball is the “most deceptive.”
Exhibit C: The Magician Audience
Performing for magicians is a special kind of pain.
Normal people clap.
Magicians nod slightly and say, “Nice.”
That’s it. That’s their applause.
If you’re lucky, they’ll whisper, “Good misdirection,” which is magician code for, “I know exactly how you did it, but I respect the hustle.”
You could levitate, explode, and reform out of confetti — and another magician will still say,
“Angle issues.”
Exhibit D: The Existential Crisis
Magic is about making people believe the impossible.
But when you spend your life creating that illusion, you start to realize something terrifying:
You can’t even make your own problems disappear.
You can vanish a coin, but not your student loans.
You can pull a rabbit out of a hat, but not motivation out of thin air.
And no matter how many card tricks you know, you still can’t find love on Tinder.
We are professional deceivers who can’t even lie to ourselves convincingly anymore.
The Truth
Magic isn’t for magicians.
It’s for everyone else — the people who still feel wonder when something unexpected happens, the ones who gasp, laugh, and actually believe for a second.
We, the magicians, are the sad clowns of the mystical arts — endlessly chasing that one look on someone’s face that reminds us why we started doing this in the first place.
So if you ever see a magician smiling on stage, just know:
They’re dying inside.
But like… in a magical way.
✨ Alexander the OK — Performing miracles, questioning life choices, and pretending everything’s fine since forever. ✨
Add comment
Comments