A deeply scientific and definitely-not-delusional theory by Alexander the OK
Let’s face it: after years of performing for humans, I’ve come to one inescapable conclusion —
magic is only truly appreciated by animals.
Humans overthink it.
Kids heckle.
Adults analyze.
But animals? Animals get it.
They don’t try to explain the trick, they don’t Google how it’s done — they just stare at you like you’re some sort of shiny food god from another dimension.
Exhibit A: The Dog Audience
Dogs are amazing magic audiences.
You vanish a treat? Mind. Blown.
They’ll tilt their head, look at your empty hand, then back at you with this mix of confusion and betrayal that says,
“You’re either a wizard or the worst person alive.”
They don’t heckle, they don’t call out your double lift — they just silently contemplate the universe. Then you drop the treat and instantly become their favorite magician of all time.
It’s a standing ovation… with wagging tails.
Exhibit B: Cats, the Harshest Critics
Cats, on the other hand, are like performing for a room full of skeptical scientists who also happen to hate you.
You make a card disappear, and they just blink slowly — like,
“Cute. I make things disappear too. It’s called your self-esteem.”
You could literally pull their favorite toy out of thin air and they’d yawn, lick their paw, and walk away like they’ve seen better illusions in the litter box.
Cats invented “seen it.”
Exhibit C: Birds Are Natural Hecklers
Try performing for a parrot sometime. You’ll finish your best trick, and it’ll just repeat back,
“It’s in the other hand!”
Cool, thanks, Carl. You just outed me to the entire pet store.
Birds have no respect for the art. They’ll ruin your punchline, steal your props, and then poop on your closer.
They’re basically tiny, feathery critics with no shame.
Exhibit D: Rabbits — The OG Magicians
Let’s talk about the real stars of magic: rabbits.
People think magicians pull rabbits out of hats — but I’m convinced the rabbits are actually pulling us in.
Think about it.
They’re the only animal that’s been in magic since day one.
They never sign contracts, never pay rent, yet somehow they’re always the headliner.
You know who’s the real illusionist? The bunny who convinced me to carry it around in a top hat for minimum wage applause.
Exhibit E: Fish — Surprisingly Easy to Fool
Fish are my favorite audience.
You vanish a coin underwater? They lose their tiny aquatic minds.
They don’t ask how you did it — mostly because they can’t breathe air or form words — but still, that level of enthusiasm? Unmatched.
Every trick is a standing ovation (well, floating ovation).
The Truth
Humans want explanations.
Animals just enjoy the wonder.
Magic is pure, simple, and absurd — just like them.
So yes, maybe magic isn’t for kids.
Maybe it isn’t for adults.
Maybe it isn’t even for magicians.
Maybe magic is for the dog who believes you turned a treat into thin air,
the cat who refuses to care,
and the rabbit who’s secretly running the whole show.
And honestly… that’s OK with me.
✨ Alexander the OK — Performing magic for creatures with better reactions than humans since forever. ✨
Add comment
Comments